What happened to the life i planned when i was 19? The perfect husband, adoring kids,perfect house,gourmet meals,size 6 body,talents coming out the wazoo?
The house is a mess, i have no energy prob due to not sleeping. I do my very best worrying at night :)
Gourmet meals... yeah... well the kitchen hates me.. thats all i have to say on that.
The size 6 body?yeah well im still waiting to lose the baby weight... the baby is 12 :)
Talents... mmmm yeah still working on that one .I am good at my job and i try very hard to be kind to people,does that count?
The kids are wonderful, all but one think im a good mom,the other one thinks im the cause of all her problems. The kids keep me going on days when i wonder if im just one huge failure. Being a mom was what i wanted to be,the kool aid mom,the one whos house the kids hang out at.
I do have lots of various and sundry teens call me mom and they hang out and dont seem to mind the mess...they long ago realized ill feed them anything i dont have to bake in an oven.
But... sometimes i think of Jenny and realize i failed,then i realize nothing else matters and i wonder what went wrong with the perfect life i planned. If only i had been better,been able to sew,cook,whatever.
I registered the kids for school today,have bought most of the back to school stuff and am on my way to the dr to get claires 7th grade shots (oh joy) and to have my ribs checked.Last week i lost a battle with a metal bed frame and cracked a couple of ribs. It only hurts when i breathe or cough. I can give those things up;)
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