I have been to tons of funerals(family are undertakers in England,first real job was as an assistant embalmer,worked in hospice etc) So ive seen all kinds. Today i went to my favorite one.
Nora lived at Beehive house,assisted living.I was the activities director there and she was my favorite.She was funny,competitive,quirky,sassy and always willing to get involved. We played,sang,exercised,went to see plays,had auctions,but her fave. thing was bingo.Did i mention she was competitive?lol. She always looked beautiful and her room was a reflection of her life.There were photos,Nick knacks,crocheted everythings,porcelain dolls,etc etc. My two youngest kids loved going into see the treasures----mostly the animals that would sing songs.Nora had stashes of candy EVERYWHERE and loved giving it to the kids.I didn't know she was in the hospital though it turns out we were prob there at the same time.I came home and she didnt.The service was like none other but was exactly as she would have wanted it.Very casual,lots of laughter as family members re told memories of their mom and grandma growing up.Camping trips,decorating,making treats and going on adventures.
It made me realise that when i die i want my funeral to be just like that---she EARNED HER OWN FUNERAL.I wondered what id earned and determined to be more like Nora.I wanna be the cookie baking type grandma,take the kids on trips,do silly things with them,celebrate every holiday.Im not a grandma im just the mom but i try to make sure we have family traditions and do fun things .This yr we went to Disneyland,Manti,to the lake,up to general conference and im sure more things that ive forgotten.I love being a mom but i can be better ,then ill be an even better grandma!
Tomorrow we start decorating Claire's room (formerly known as Michaela lol).She has chosen teal and yellow so we went to Roberts crafts to get our supplies.I looked up to see Bree,a friend of Jenny's from way back when they were both cheerleaders.What a cutie she is.I see a lot of Jen's friends now.. most are home from missions,getting engaged,married and having kids yet it feels like only yesterday they were little girls.Made me realise i had better pick up the pace if im going to get to Nora status :). If you died tomorrow,how would your funeral be?
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Steve & I have, unfortunately, had to talk about this, since I embarked on my cancer adventure almost five years ago, and even more so since becoming stage IV. I couldn't care less what happens to my body here on earth after I die, so I just told him to do whatever he wants to do. As far as I'm concerned, he can set me out at the curb for the garbage men, but it might be nice to use a black trash bag, just for privacy's sake, lol. Any service would be for him, not for me, so he can do what he wants. I won't be here. :) Nobody calls (except my mother) or comes to see me anymore (my cancer has gone on too long, apparently), so if they can't be bothered while I'm still alive, I certainly don't want to have a party for them after I'm gone. I'm not angry; I realize people don't know what else to say or do, so they just move on with their lives, and I've been guilty of the same thing in the past. But I'm serious...I don't care at all about having a funeral.
I have always been adamant about the fact that i didn't want to be embalmed or have a funeral.But on about day 5 in the hospital,when things werent getting better no matter what they tried i had to think about it.I mostly didnt want to be a face in the obituaries where people like me say'awwwww she was so young and had five kids.. how sad" lol.But i did realise that Ryan and the kids would need as much support as possible and a funeral is very much for the living.As for the people that have moved on as you said,i feel the same way.If you coudlnt be bothered to support me in life dont show up at my funeral and pretend you miss me lol.
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