Irritated

Tonight is Adams graduation from seminary.This is a month full of wonderful events,its been hectic,busy,exhausting and will come to an end with four happy kids finishing out their school yr. One will graduate and begin the wait til he can turn in his mission papers. We will all look forward to our usual summer traditions. However, there is a feeling i cant shake. J's choice to not have contact with any of us has been devastating. The rest of the family seems relieved that she is not here. At times like this, its hard to pretend that one of the children chose to not be here.
  Awhile ago Her counseller told  me to deal with it as we would a death.. and in many ways its helped. I have no choice but to accept it. But when the children hear that she has visited friends only streets away their hurt/angry feelings make me realise that i still have a lot of unresolved emotions.Her choice to not attend her brothers graduation started out as irritating and has somehow simmered into resentment and anger.
     There is nothing i would not do to protect my children...i love agatha cristies quote

" A mother's love for her child is like nothing else in the world. It knows no law, no pity, it dares all things and crushes down remorselessly all that stands in its path."
-- Agatha Christie